Marriage is all about getting the stuff off your chest that just keeps you up at night.

The following conversation is real. I wouldn’t lie about something this ridiculous.

So we had the pleasure of getting all of these free channels to preview when we signed up with a new cable company. They’re always so awesome in the beginning. Kind of like how your new boss is nice to you for the first month before turning into the kind of boss that makes you want to slit your wrists in the bathroom, because everything you do is wrong and you totally get in shit for dumb things like speaking out of turn at a meeting, leaving your coffee mug in the communal kitchen sink or missing deadlines that you didn’t even know existed.

Anyways. This post isn’t about bosses or cable companies. It’s about putting yourself in other people’s shoes, and then acting accordingly.

Let me break this down for you with a story..

Before the honeymoon period with our cable company was over and we had all of our new, “free” channels ripped away from us, we decided to watch ALL OF THEM. I’m such a sucker for free shit.

One night we came across this Mexican TV channel, which I thought was pretty interesting because before this I had no idea it even existed. Rob and I previewed this channel and actually really started to get into it. The Y&R has nothing on these Latin American soaps… they show boobs. And then for no particular reason, it occurred to us:

If we had a Mexican cleaning lady, would we subscribe to Mexican TV?

On one hand, getting the Mexican TV channel would mean admitting that you’re a sucker. You know she’s totally going to be watching TV when SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING. On the other hand, NOT getting the Mexican TV channel says that you’re a tyrant. Are you made of stone? Even you don’t just work all day. Are you reading this blog on your lunch hour right now? Didn’t think so.

Here’s a fact: It doesn’t take six hours to clean a 1000-square foot apartment. Maybe you could stretch it out for three, but not six. That said, there are two things that will happen once your cleaning lady is done dusting and buffing your crap-

1. She will riffle through your stuff, including (but not limited to) your medicine cabinet, under your mattress, in your closet and most definitely through the pile of papers and statements you just leave lying around (idiot).

2. She will watch TV.

If you’re lucky, she’ll choose number two. I, for one, would prefer that she did and I’m willing to do anything to make sure she takes that option over looking through my bank statements only to realize she makes more money than I do.

And with that, Rob and I decided that we WOULD subscribe to the Mexican TV channel if we had a Mexican cleaning lady. We’d probably even ask her what channel her novella was on, who was sleeping with whom and who’s waking up from a coma this week, etc. Just for the record we’d do the same for a Greek, Italian, Polish or Filipino cleaning lady, too. Any cleaning lady, for that matter. Ours happens to be Portuguese.

In the end, the take home message is, ‘Do Unto Others As You Would Want Them To Do Unto YOU’.

(And for God’s sake, burn your bank statements.)

Actual footage of our cleaning supply closet. Dramatic, isn't it?

Actual footage of our cleaning supply closet. Dramatic, isn't it?


1 Comment

Filed under couldn't think of a category for this, stuff on my mind

One response to “Marriage is all about getting the stuff off your chest that just keeps you up at night.

  1. Cute post! The title perfectly sums up married life! Love it!

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