Monthly Archives: November 2009

By the time you read this, I’ll be gone.

(image source)

 

Dear Funkawesome Readers of this Blog,

I have news. I’m off to the Wonderful World of Disney for four whole days. I’m not even kidding.

But how, you say? Just one of the many perks bestowed on Rob for selling his soul to his swanky corporate day-job. Am I complaining? Only half-assed. (We’re staying at a 5-star after all.)

You see, my ultimate dream is for he and I to be hippies – him on the guitar, me at the keyboard – working from any old place on the planet, sipping fresh fruit juice (with Grey Goose) because, somehow, being a hippie will classify as a respectable line of work, like being a model or movie star or full-time Twatter.

Too big of a dream?

Well, just to get a taste (you know, manifest the dream and all) you can bet your ass I’ll be typing on my laptop (OK, texting) while Rob strums a guitar (or drums on an empty Coke bottle we paid $10 for) whilst sailing on the river that runs through the spectacle of It’s a Small World.

Who says dreams can’t come true, even if they’re a little distorted sometimes.

Miss you already,
sandyb-licious

PS: On another note, Disney just happens to be the last place my family and I vacationed together before my parents divorced, which left me horribly scarred. Should be great!

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Filed under Being 29

The other N-word no one wants to talk about. Especially young professionals.

Last night I went to a party that was centered around three things: Cookies, champagne and hob-nobbing with other young female professionals (YFPs. Obviously).

It was thrown by a girl I went to high school with (Girl? Lady? Woman? What’s the right term anymore? Anyway, let’s call her Lisa. Because that’s her name).

Lisa and I spent four years together in our high school’s drama program (If you met me, the drama thing really wouldn’t shock you. Rob tells me I’m quite the Queen of It, apparently.)

Although I hadn’t seen Lisa in 10-years, we’ve connected on Facebook for some time. Turns out FB isn’t just for embarrassing pictures and useless Status Updates (I.e.: “sandyb is in total need of a bikini wax right now. And a leg shave”). Whether you realize it or not, if you’re on FB, people know more about you than you think. Just something to think about.

So there I was, in a room filled with young, ambitious, professional women who, like me, are turning 30 in just a few months. But it’s not our impending jump into the next decade of our womandom that brought us together last night.

We were there to (hold your breath now..) NETWORK.

Word on the street is that, for some YFPs, networking has a bad rep. Somehow it implies that a) You’re only talking to someone to get something; b) You have ulterior motives that all lead back to money or business or flogging whatever it is that you do best; or c) You just like to talk about yourself.

Well, all of the above are true, and also a lot of the criteria for most friendships, dating situations and marriages. So, just deal because networking rules the world.

My opinion is that those who loathe networking probably think they don’t have a lot to say about themselves or don’t give themselves enough credit for what they have to offer. More to the point, these are likely the same people who don’t know how to blend a social setting with opportunity. If this sounds like you, your friends or someone you’re dating/sleeping with, read on. I think I’ve actually come up with something worthwhile to say here (These moments have been rare lately, so soak it up. I can’t produce like this all the time damn it.)

I call this:

The YFPs Guide to Networking (But dudes can use it, too. Don’t worry, it doesn’t make you gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that).

a) You’re only talking to someone to get something.
Um, obviously. Even, “Hi, how are you?” has a connotation of, “Ok, now you ask me back.” Even if all you want is an answer to your question, you’re still giving to get. That can be applied from the simplest of questions to the biggest of demands. And there is nothing wrong with this formula. It’s actually quite balanced.

b) You have ulterior motives that all lead back to money or business or flogging whatever it is that you do best.
I mentioned it in a post last week here, but why do we have such trouble giving ourselves a pat on the back anyway? If we can experience something or someone to get us to a level of higher emotional or spiritual growth, it’s ok (yoga, anyone?), yet when we put ourselves into a situation where we can grow professionally it’s deemed as selfish, greedy or (gasp) overly ambitious. I have no idea why we put a limit on ambition, although I’ll tell you that I’ve been guilty of doing this myself.

c) You just like to talk about yourself.
This is a fine line, especially if you are an douchebag. Some people really don’t know how to talk about themselves without sounding like they’d fondle their own reflection if they could. (You’re thinking of someone like this right now, aren’t you?) Let me be clear: Being big-faced is not what networking is about. It’s an exchange of information, in equal amounts. At the end of the day, people want to know about you. That’s why they creep your Facebook page and Twitter account, so don’t be afraid to let people in once in a while, on your terms.  But do edit what you say. If Facebooking and blogging have taught me anything it’s that what you put on the Internet is permanent. The same goes for what you put in people’s minds about you, so do use your filters. Nobody cares about how awesome you are (or think you are), they care about how your awesomeness can inspire them to be awesome, too.  That’s networking.

I had a spectacular time at Lisa’s last night. It was a great atmosphere with like-minded young women who had genuine conversations about their interests, accomplishments and jobs. If there’s one thing I took away from the experience (besides ass-fattening cookies, he-hem) it’s that I really should surround myself with these types of people more often. I felt incredible and confident last night. Look at that – a social setting gave me emotional satisfaction and all the while I was talking about my career. Hm. Apparently emotional and professional growth do go together, like booze and cigarettes, mayo and pickles, and like Cookies and Champagne.

P.S. Oh, and if you’re into throwing your own little Cookies & Champagne soiree, just Google it. (You know, that online network thing.)

Lisa (the hostess), me (mids) & Vickie (old friend from high school) at the Cookies and Champagne Party. Booyah.

The cookies. Holy crap, there were cookies.

So, do you NETWORK? And, more importantly, how do you feel about combining pickles and mayo? (To be honest, I want to know the answer to both.)

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Filed under Reinvention Inspiration, Things I learned while reinventing myself

Things I learned while I was sleeping.

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.

-Dan Stanford

 

First, big ups to everyone and anyone who responded to my Writer’s Block Dilemma. I’m better now, so thank you. I heard everything from exercise to torturing my bladder as methods for Beating the Block, all of which were worth their weight in gold. But now I have the opposite problem (God, I’m such a complainer) and I can’t seem to stream my thoughts into coherent sentences. Or remember them.

I lost hours of sleep last night turning some good shit over in my head. I was all like, “Oh man, this is so good stuff. I can’t wait to get up an write it There’s no way I’ll forget it. No way.” So instead of learning from past experiences that I never, ever remember the next day what I was thinking the night before (thus REACH FOR A PEN AND PAPER, IDIOT) I’m dealing with the consequences. Total balls.

Before I turn 30 I really hope to get this lesson nailed down.

 

(p.s. Don’t worry, this isn’t a real post. Just stuff I was thinking.)

(p.p.s See, I’m already learning to always write things down.)

 

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Filed under On my mind, Quote this!

Writer’s block.

It’s like stuttering. The ideas are there. The intention is there. But the words, the words. They. Won’t. Come. Out.

 

My well has run dry, and I have another script due like, last week.

 

Shit me.

 

Help! What do you do when this happens? (and yes, I’ve tried drinking…)

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Filed under couldn't think of a category for this

If you think I hate kids, you’re totally off-side. I actually think they’re cute. Sometimes.

The other day, I was doing #15 on my List and thought it would be a good idea to spread the love. Here goes:

While in line at one of my favorite neighborhood bakeries, there was a plethora of gingerbread cookies laid out for sale. Now let me tell you that I love all things gingerbread, cinnamon, ginergy, spicy, and especially things that taste like gingerbread-cinnamon-gingery-spice. Drool.

There was a little girl – quite cute, actually, with long brown, curly hair and big blues eyes – waiting behind me to buy bread. Her mom stood outside.

Then a young family – mom with three kids – walked in to stand in line, too.

The gingerbread-cinnamon-gingery-spice cookies were on everyone’s mind. Pleas and begs came from all the young girls to their mothers to just have the effing cookies… “PLEASE!”.

Now I’m sure you know where this is going, but wait. Hear me out. Most people in my circles think I don’t like kids, hate them in fact, which actually isn’t true. Do I think kids can be obnoxious? Smelly? Loud? Attention mongers? Sure, guilty as charged. But this is exactly why I thought it would be a good-out-of-my-ordinary thing to buy all four girls in the bakery those cookies.

And I did.

Normally I just buy overpriced coffee for adults with their own bank accounts who really don’t need to be drinking any more caffeine anyway.  I needed to branch out.

I didn’t want to be heard, so I whispered the plan to the cashier, paid for my items (cookies included) and walked out. Smiling.

As I walked down Roncesvalles Ave., I knew that a few stores away there were four little girls being told, “That lady who just left bought you all cookies…” (And then I thought, hey, she better have said “lady” and not “woman” because, what the hell Lady at the Bakery, I’m only 29. And then I was walking down Roncesvalles with a dirty look, all mean-eyes, but then Rob was like, “what the hell is your problem?” and I snapped out of it pretty quick because, well, I doubt the Lady at the Bakery even knows who I am or my age. And she was actually quite nice.)

Anyway.

The thing about doing #15 on my List is that it’s a real win-win for everyone involved: The independent bakery who scored (albeit small but nonetheless) a few extra sales; the girls who got their “PLEASE MOM!” cookies; and moi, who is on a mission to reinvent her usual life and habits and thoughts.

The odd thing is that I’m sharing it here and, well, I feel like a bit of a big face doing so – “Look at me… I’m SO generous..” Not true. I really don’t think that at all. I thought it was more important to spread it by blogging, hoping that you will do #15, then blog about it, too.

So, the real point to the story is, you should always spoil the dinner of neighborhood children with cookies.

So, you have a moment when a stranger did this for you or you did this for a stranger?

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Filed under #15 Give away some awesome, Reinvention Inspiration

Blog anonymity. Overrated?

There have been times I haven’t always been able to be as open as I’d like on this blog. It’s not because I don’t want to or don’t know how to express myself, it’s just that sometimes expression has consequences. Now wait a second.. before you think, “Hello! Isn’t a blog supposed to be a place where you’re UNCENSORED?” Let me tell you that self-publishing can be a double-edge sword. But I’m sure some of you have already considered this, particularly when you were deciding whether or not to blog under another name or identity. Even if the answer was obvious for you, at some point you still had to consider your options.

On one hand blogging openly is a way to thoroughly spew the contents of your mind and get feedback from people you know. I know that when my aunt who lives six hours a way is thinking of me, she types my url into her browser and then, poof, there’s my life spelled out for her. We stay connected and, without even trying, I let her in. When I decided to start this blog to document my last year as a twenty-something, I knew I wanted to be “sandyb”. I knew I would be comfortable posting pictures and talking about my husband or sister or neighborhood. All these things are a part of me – it just seemed natural to blog about them.

There are days I couldn’t imagine separating my reinvention journey from my real life. I even send out links to my posts on Facebook hoping that people will enjoy my writing and possibly even get inspired. I am a journalist by day, so it seemed like a good idea to connect with people the best way I know how – with my writing. And when someone takes the time to tell me that they’re feeling inspired to start their own Lists or that they simply enjoy reading my posts, it seems worth giving up a bit of my anonymity. I mean, don’t you love knowing that your thoughts are enjoyed?

On the other hand – the other edge of that sword – there have been days I wish I could just confess how hard it can be to look this deeply at my life. For all the fun I have coming up with new things to try and add to my growing List, there are moments when introspection is rough on me. There have been days when I wished I could just blog about my sadness, my fears or my anger. These emotions are as much a part of my journey as the good ones, and lately they’ve even been more prevalent. These are the times I second-guess my decision to be semi-public with my blog and when I wish that “sandyb” didn’t have a Facebook page.

More than once I’ve considered deleting my blog or going underground, only to emerge under a new identity, emailing only a few loyal readers and fellow bloggers to tell them, “Hey, it’s OK.. I’m over here now. Same gal, new url.” If it sounds like I’ve given it some thought, well, you wouldn’t be far off. But not to worry, I’m still here with no plans to abandonblog any time soon. I have a lot of work to do yet, both on and off the keyboard.

My final thoughts on the subject go a little something like this:  Anonymity seems to break and create boundaries simultaneously. For every anonymous post that connects with hundreds, even thousands, there is a part of you that never gets to bathe in the thrill of that recognition. But, but.. For every post where you’ve had to hold back for fear of offending, divulging too much or patronizing, there is equally a part of you that goes unnoticed.

In either case anonymity, or the lack thereof, creates limitations and that, my friends, is the sharpest edge of all.

 

Just a little something on my mind tonight.

 

So, where do you stand on bloganonymity?

And if you don’t have a blog, but read them, what’s your take – do you read anonymous blogs or public ones?


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Filed under stuff on my mind

I’m Not That Kind of Girl.

Hello? Hello?

Ok, so after weeks of dropping comments on one another’s blogs, Not That Kind of Girl decided to take our blogaffair to the next level. …She emailed me.

I am one flattered chick to be posting there today because she is a fabulously talented, witty, and daring writer. She’s on a mission to complete 250 crazy, awesome things in just one year and tell-all every day. (And sometimes, things even get a little freaky.. oh la la). There isn’t one post of hers I haven’t absolutely adored, and I mean that, straight up.

If you don’t already read this lovely lady, well, I really don’t know what you do with your time. Go!

 

p.s. for the weirdos who read my blog (um, you know who you are..) the words “Poutine” “Beefcake” and “Cock” are the stars of my guest post today. Just saying.

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Filed under guest post