Resolutions are for people who can’t figure out that Cindarella is ruining your life.

I don’t make resolutions.

If you do, I don’t judge (I can assure that I’m far too occupied judging other things like religions, mass exodus to the suburbs, my extended family and people with more money than me. So don’t worry, I’m not judging you.)

What I make are lists of things to accomplish, not resolve to stop, become or change. If you’ve peeked into my blog before perhaps you’ve bumped into my “About SandyB” page and learned about my List, which is fine, because I like that page and it’s there for you to read, comment on or make fun of- you choose. Again, I won’t judge. Word on the street is that I’m well liked by most, except by people who take themselves too seriously. You don’t like me. You know who you are. In fact, you’re so self-absorbed and serious right now you think I’m talking about you at this very moment… don’t you?

So anyway, I really don’t have the energy to make resolutions. Far, far too much work.

In my experience I’ve determined that resolutions are a set up. If you gain anything from this post, I hope it’s a little insight into why you should not make a resolution that begins on January 1, 2010, at approximately 12:01 a.m. Instead, reserve this time for recuperating from a champagne-induced coma that started somewhere between Auld Lang Syne, your second vomit and swearing out loud to your friends that you’re “never going to drink this much again.” Yes, save those precious early moments of the New Year for that, and not for making ridiculous resolutions.

You know you’re not going to follow through on them anyway. That’s why we keep making the same fucking ones every year:

-Lose those 10 pounds that won’t budge

-Spanx your curvy silhouette

-Stifle your stutter

-Learn to love his mother

-Ignore mom’s idiosyncrasies

-Make better use of time at the office and stop reading blogs all day

-Quit smoking

-Find a job worth loving

-Start writing a book

Why are we really in such a hurry to change our selves? (This, no less, coming from the girl on a quest to reinvent- I see the irony here, slightly). But hear me out: Rather than trying to change, I propose we put that energy into creating the experiences in which to grow.

(Are you gagging yet?)

Seriously, this isn’t my attempt at any sort of self-help. Just the opposite, in fact. I propose that for 2010 you remain the same; just keep plugging away at the person you are, rather than putting all of your energy into the person you want to be, which can be pretty useless if you’re trying to miraculously change yourself at the stroke of midnight.

Stop trying to be Cindafuckingrella.

You want to write a book? Create the experience by sitting down each day and hammering out a page a day for 10 days.

You want to lose weight? Create the experience by not pulling up to the drive-thru at lunch. And drink more water for Heaven’s sake.

You want a job you love? Create an experience for your prospective boss by not having spelling mistakes in your cover letter and actually engaging in intelligent conversation during your 20-minute interview. Avoid using words like, “um” “absolutely” and “most definitely”. Nobody likes a keener.

I could go on, but you get the idea.

I’m not trying to change myself- it’s happening whether I want it to or not; it’s probably happening to you, too- but I am trying to be more conscious of the experiences I have that are inevitably making me a different person. This blog holds a List and account of those experiences.

For the upcoming year, I plan to be more myself simply by resolving to not resolve. For once, I plan to just get caught up in the experience.


Filed under Reinvention Inspiration

7 responses to “Resolutions are for people who can’t figure out that Cindarella is ruining your life.

  1. Great post! you are right, and i absolutely, most definitely, um, agree?

    lol. but in all seriousness, ur right and ive never even done resolutions because im lazy.

    • Thank you! I wouldn’t say you’re lazy. You’re only lazy if you make resolutions, and then don’t follow through. Not making them at all actually puts you ahead. Smart, smart lady.
      Really though, the idea is to work on the bits of our lives that are already in motion and working for us rather than to magically try and alter anything because midnight strikes. Doing that is stressful and sets us up for failure. Make a list of things to accomplish and change will come naturally.

  2. This is the best New Year post I’ve read yet. Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today…I couldn’t agree more!

    • Why thank you, sir. This is especially a wonderful comment coming from you- you do know how I feel about your writing.

      Expect more of this in the future. This is how I roll.

  3. flatbrokegirl

    I totally agree with mysterg. If you want to accomplish something — something to make your life better — do it now! In other words, quit rolling up to the drive-thru now instead of New Year’s Day.

    I got into this hardcore weight-loss challenge in September. Our group of five decided it was time to do something right then. We didn’t need a holiday or special occasion. I also quit smoking 15 days after New Year’s in 2008. I didn’t make this a resolution beforehand. I nearly had a heart attack (literally) and decided I needed to take drastic action. I wasn’t going to wait for 350 more days and possibly die during that time!

    I totally agree with the “Stop trying to be Cindafuckingrella”. I believe the reason why so many people fail at New Year’s resolutions or anything serious they want to take on is not seeing immediate results. I get so frustrated sometimes, but I’ve accepted I won’t wake up and find myself more than 100 pounds thinner!

    • Weight loss is never an easy goal, but it is an achievable one. Time, and the effort, are mandatory though. I work in the fitness magazine business and see just how much a clean diet, exercise and determination WILL change your body. Time and consistency are your best friends (and spinach, and water and the occasional chocolate bar so you don’t fucking kill yourself with deprivation.) Baby steps.

      I’m cheering for you!

  4. Andreea

    “Word on the street is that I’m well liked by most, except by people who take themselves too seriously.” hahahahahaah….this one’s good. real good. i certainly don’t take myself too seriously 😛

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