Category Archives: Note to Self

The Universe hates me (or at least thinks it’s funnier than me.)

So we had an anniversary this weekend. Actually, like, three of them.

11 years ago Rob got brave and asked me out on a date.
Good thing, too. Turned out to be the best last first date, ever.

3 years ago Rob got down on one knee and made an honest woman out of me.
He gave me diamonds. Really, really shiny ones.

Then 2 years ago, we dragged 40 of our nearest and dearest to sunny Mexico for a wedding in the sand (truth? they all just wanted a vacation and totally used us, sheesh)
I walked down the aisle to a song Rob wrote for me on the guitar I bought for him as an engagement gift. (I kinda felt like I owed him for the diamonds.)

So, what threads these lovely events together? December 12.
(Or as Rob and I affectionately refer to it, simply, 12.12)

And that’s why we were at the spa yesterday (finally, the point to this post.)

***

Rob had called the spa on Wednesday in a last-ditch (but well efforted) attempt to get us a weekend’s stay at Le Scandanave, a swanky spa near the skiing village of Blue Mountain. Needless to say, they were fully booked and our anniversary plans [that we should have made ages ago] fizzled. Gawd, like, doesn’t everyone make anniversary plans mere hours in advance? Apparently not.

The next day at work I called the spa.
*(actual conversation)

sandyb: “Hi, I’m calling to confirm our reservation?”

la scandinave girl: “OK, what’s your last name…”

*blah blah blah*

sandyb: “What do you mean you don’t have my reservation?! I booked, like three months ago…”

LSG: “We don’t see a reservation here ma’am, I’m sorry.”

(sidenote: You can learn how I feel about being “ma’am’d” here)

sandyb: “Well, I don’t know what to say then. Is there something we can do? I’m very upset about this” [hold breath, 2, 3, 4..]

LSG: “Let me call you right back ma’am.”

*several minutes pass. I actually get around to doing some real work for the day job, grab another cup of coffee and wait for the phone to ring.. because it will.*

sandyb: “Hello? Yes, this is she.”

LSG: “We have a room for you this weekend, so sorry for the confusion.”

sandyb: “Wonderful. You had me panicked.”

perfect.
***

At the spa, after a frantic mad dash to the boonies for a, he-hem, relaxing massage that I totally lied my way into, I realize two things:

1. I left my bikini at home. (We were supposed to bring swimsuits for the outdoor spas, baths, saunas, etc.) I must now pay upwards of $50 for an ugly rendition of a bathing suit last seen on Baywatch. Dammit.

2. I forgot to ask for “female massage therapists, please”- a cardinal rule of mine (and Rob’s) for like, ever. Oddly, both of us feel more comfortable being oiled and rubbed down by chicks. And, no, it’s not a sex thing.

As two dudes round the corner, barefoot and wearing JOGGING PANTS ready to rub us down, I realize the following almost instantly: Although I may be a great liar I am also a big believer in karma, which means a narrowly missed spa appointment, being out fifty bucks for a lopsided bathing suit that I don’t want, like or will ever wear again, and being rubbed down by someone who resembles the Close Talker from Seinfeld is the Universe’s way of giving me the finger.

Point taken, Universe. You win.

This time.

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Filed under confessional, Note to Self

If you saw me driving in my car this morning, here’s what I was really thinking instead of paying attention to the road.

Note to Self:

Smarten up.

The only way you’re ever going to get the things you want is if you decide they’re meant to be yours. So, frig, just decide already because seriously Self, you’ve been sitting on the pot too long, so just shit already. This applies to house-hunting, impending business plans, work, friendships and the Michael Kors bag that you didn’t buy for 60% off and now you’re telling everyone, “Well, I didn’t like it that much anyway..” which you know is a lie, because you did. You do. The next time designer anything is on sale, you don’t “think” about it, you act, dammit.

And while we’re in this traffic and sitting idly like sheep for slaughter, Self, you should know.. your blog is pissed at you and so are the wonderful people who read it. You give the blog no love these days, no love. And you and I both know why. You work too much! Where’s the fun in your life. Work, work, work, that’s all you do! What started out as a way to document your List has turned into more, sure, and it’s not always easy to sit down and spew heart-felt learnings that come about from reinventing via, quite possibly, the most important List you’re ever going to make. I get it. But seriously Self, just blog your ass off, because you know that writing is where your heart is.

And also, Self, you might want to consider bringing back the bangs. Although, you should check with your sister. This sort of matter really needs to be discussed, explored and then called to a vote. And you know it’s true.

Lastly Self, while I have you here, traffic is a douchebag on steroids. Hurry up and win the lottery or write a best-selling novel or screenplay (or strip, whatever) so you can hire an effing driver already, you know, like you’ve always wanted.

Think less. Want more. Act always.

Oh, and by the way, you’re officially late for work now, so forget about Starbucks.
****

Note to you:

I love my blog (and hope you do, too!) and after a pep talk with mySelf I’ve decided to do more of the things I love to do, without thinking so much. Really, because thinking is exhausting and complex and layered, and not like a good complex and layered, like layered cake or pudding, more like the bad kind of layered, like three sweaters and only one T-shirt and you’re not wearing a bra, so now you have to keep the sweaters on or risk nipping-out in front of total strangers, coworkers or neighbors you can’t stand.

See, exhausting.

Has your blog (or blogs you read) changed its direction or vibe since you started? How did/do you handle that? Do tell..
(PPS, one of my favorite bloggers, Not That Kind of Girl, is doing her FIRST ever blogiveaway today (he-hem, changing her blog direction in slight) and I totally love her moxy for it!! Check it out! (tell her sandyb sent you..).

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Filed under Note to Self, Reinvention Inspiration