Tag Archives: reinventing

Resolutions are for people who can’t figure out that Cindarella is ruining your life.

I don’t make resolutions.

If you do, I don’t judge (I can assure that I’m far too occupied judging other things like religions, mass exodus to the suburbs, my extended family and people with more money than me. So don’t worry, I’m not judging you.)

What I make are lists of things to accomplish, not resolve to stop, become or change. If you’ve peeked into my blog before perhaps you’ve bumped into my “About SandyB” page and learned about my List, which is fine, because I like that page and it’s there for you to read, comment on or make fun of- you choose. Again, I won’t judge. Word on the street is that I’m well liked by most, except by people who take themselves too seriously. You don’t like me. You know who you are. In fact, you’re so self-absorbed and serious right now you think I’m talking about you at this very moment… don’t you?

So anyway, I really don’t have the energy to make resolutions. Far, far too much work.

In my experience I’ve determined that resolutions are a set up. If you gain anything from this post, I hope it’s a little insight into why you should not make a resolution that begins on January 1, 2010, at approximately 12:01 a.m. Instead, reserve this time for recuperating from a champagne-induced coma that started somewhere between Auld Lang Syne, your second vomit and swearing out loud to your friends that you’re “never going to drink this much again.” Yes, save those precious early moments of the New Year for that, and not for making ridiculous resolutions.

You know you’re not going to follow through on them anyway. That’s why we keep making the same fucking ones every year:

-Lose those 10 pounds that won’t budge

-Spanx your curvy silhouette

-Stifle your stutter

-Learn to love his mother

-Ignore mom’s idiosyncrasies

-Make better use of time at the office and stop reading blogs all day

-Quit smoking

-Find a job worth loving

-Start writing a book

Why are we really in such a hurry to change our selves? (This, no less, coming from the girl on a quest to reinvent- I see the irony here, slightly). But hear me out: Rather than trying to change, I propose we put that energy into creating the experiences in which to grow.

(Are you gagging yet?)

Seriously, this isn’t my attempt at any sort of self-help. Just the opposite, in fact. I propose that for 2010 you remain the same; just keep plugging away at the person you are, rather than putting all of your energy into the person you want to be, which can be pretty useless if you’re trying to miraculously change yourself at the stroke of midnight.

Stop trying to be Cindafuckingrella.

You want to write a book? Create the experience by sitting down each day and hammering out a page a day for 10 days.

You want to lose weight? Create the experience by not pulling up to the drive-thru at lunch. And drink more water for Heaven’s sake.

You want a job you love? Create an experience for your prospective boss by not having spelling mistakes in your cover letter and actually engaging in intelligent conversation during your 20-minute interview. Avoid using words like, “um” “absolutely” and “most definitely”. Nobody likes a keener.

I could go on, but you get the idea.

I’m not trying to change myself- it’s happening whether I want it to or not; it’s probably happening to you, too- but I am trying to be more conscious of the experiences I have that are inevitably making me a different person. This blog holds a List and account of those experiences.

For the upcoming year, I plan to be more myself simply by resolving to not resolve. For once, I plan to just get caught up in the experience.

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Filed under Reinvention Inspiration

Yesterday I took the long way home just because it seemed more interesting. I got lost. It was awesome.

So, it turns out reinventing myself isn’t as easy as it looks. Or seems. Or I thought it would be. Not that I take the easy road or anything, or even have a map for it. And not that I’d use it if I did.  I mean, where’s the fun in life if you can’t start up a blog about turning 30, decide you’re going to check everything off your List, start checking things off, get all introspective and analytical and shit, cry on the bathroom floor, decide you’re being an idiot, snap out of it, and then write it all down?

Admit it, you totally get me.

Is it worth so far? Absofuckinglutely.


Having a List has done some good things:

1. Others have started to reinvent. I’ve had people tell me that after stopping by the blog they’re also starting a List, which I think is fantastic. Once in a while, I come up with a nugget. Apparently the List is one of them. That’s solid.

2. I eat something green everyday. It’s good for me. On days I don’t eat my greens I feel like garbage: My energy is low, my mood is hit or miss and I’m pretty sure other people’s children bother me more than usual. If you’re thinking about making a List, I’d highly recommend spinach make it on there.

3. I’ve said exactly what’s on my mind. Since I turned 29, I told a friend she broke my heart; I told my landlord the people who live below us make me want to vomit; I told a guy who thinks I’m high maintenance that he just really thinks I’m out of his league; and I told my sister what I really think about the situation she’s in right now.

4. On my travels last month, I hung out at a nude beach (and I mean that literally). It was fantastic.

This might not sound like a lot, but these are all things I wasn’t doing this time last year. And that, my friends, is progress.

But something’s still missing.

I read recently that Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Before you start thinking, ‘Oh God’s she’s one of those assholes who goes around quoting people all the time…’ I don’t. But sometimes other people just know how to sum it up better than I do.

And with that, I have added #15:

Everyday, especially on my worst ones, I will do something for someone other than myself. I will remind my friends why I chose to love them; I will buy coffee for the person behind me at Starbucks; I will give my time and expect nothing in return; I will call my mom for no reason other than just because I know it makes her day; I will personally compliment the chef and not just tell the waiter; I will tell the girl at the checkout that her hair is totally bitchin; I will trade a criticism for a compliment; I will ask about your day, instead of telling you about mine.

Everyday, I will give away some awesome.

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Filed under #15 Give away some awesome